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June 29, 2018

So…

 

I resigned in lieu of termination, flipped my car in a car accident, and moved into a new house with my boyfriend—- all in within one week. You would probably guess that my spirits would be tossing a few back at the bar in bikini bottom. The crutches kicked out from under my “financial stability.” The fan taken from underneath my hypothetical chicken wings. Oh and to top it all off with a cherry, it didn’t help that I had planned-and had full intention on carrying out- a month long European excursion with my last paycheck and busloads of debt and despair luring over me like a dark cloud in the Seattle sky. Would this bullshit shit ever stop coming for my life? 

 

Pardon my French, but I couldn’t help but humbly ask:

 

WHAT THE FUCK!??!! 

 

WTF was I going to do? 

WTF is this failure business? 

WTF was my future going to look like? 

WTF was my mom thinking? 

WTF is unemployment?

WTF is a mortgage?

WTF is this crying at 3pm daily?

 

 

shortly after, I entered the realm of:

 

WHAT THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?

 

WTFAISTD about this car accident?

WTFAISTD about a job?

WTFAISTD about money?

WTFAISTD about benefits?

WTFAISTD about FOOD, WATER, SHELTER!?

 

If you find yourself in a sticky sitch, girl -or boy, JUST TAKE A BREATH (I know, easier said than done). It may not feel like it right now, but if you put your mind to getting back on your feet, you can make it happen. But first, do something you’ve always wanted to do. For the first time in a long time, the choice is 100% yours. Feel that freedom amidst all that sadness and failure. Because you aren’t a failure. Something better is waiting for you, if you choose to seek it out... plus, you hated that job anyway.

 

My “thing” was moving forward with being overtaken with the arms of Europe for a month. I worked tf out of my side gigs -uber, lyft, catering, teaching art classes, starting a jewelry business, & loads of babysitting- to ensure I could live my life like it was gold plated!

 

What helped me? great question.

 

Step 1: Fish through that rolodex

 

It's time to rekindle that solid friendship you had back in college even high school (aka not your ex-boyfriend) OR make a new dope ass, successful friend who can truly motivate you—or was also fired and made it through the storm.

Shoutout Marissa! <3 I found her via, bumblebee and she is a qwwaeen. She had been through some rough, but was killing the game in a new industry and was full of all the advices. Listen! You’re going to need the friendship to also find comfort and not carry on hating humanity - if you’ve taken it there.

 

Step 2: CRY AND BE EMOTIONAL AF FOR HOWEVER LONG YOU NEED.

 

You were fired. Its okay to be emotional, feel some type of way, want to kill your boss, and eat an entire pizza from dominoes- all at the same time. Just don’t kill anyone- cause I can’t help you there.

 

Step 3: Time to experience the definition of frugal.

 

Now you don’t have to eat ramen right away, but you’ll definitely have to dial back. I found that brainstorming ideas was the most fun, exciting, and FREE activity I could do - as opposed to going to Savers and buying a new wardrobe or going to True food kitchen and spending $20 on a burger. I made deals wth myself. If I ate at home twice, I could have one “treat yourself meal” and go to eat or drinks with friends.

 

Step 4: Turn that struggle into fire.

Get a side hustle or two or seven. I have always worked at least 2-4 jobs AT ALL TIMES. Side contract work is a great idea because you have a flexible schedule, you have another financial avenue so you won’t be homeless in a week, and because said boss can be your reference - rather than the bitch that couldn’t see your worth. & don’t forget to talk and get to know new people! Someone knows someone who is looking for someone like you, but also you need support and kindness and for your mind not to visit that dark and scary place.

 

I am currently working on staying a float on step 4. I feel less genuine because my best self doesn’t usually second guess and speaks her mind. I feel a bit silenced by the transpiring events, but want to actively work towards finding her again and taking her to level 337. 

 

All I can say is, I'll never give up and neither should you. You control your future. Use your strength and boss up, babe.

 

Think a lot. Do a lot. Be proactive.

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